Laundry 💔

This morning I woke up to get my usual McDonald’s and slept most of the day. Bacon eggs and hash browns. With the sausage egg McMuffin. It had been raining for hours and I felt the dull ache later in the afternoon. I had been trying to find a comfortable position to lie in although the couch was cramped. Curled up on the couch fighting the pillows.

The in-between frustrations. I chuckled. This moment wasn’t supposed to be cute. I would wake up in the afternoon groggy and sleepy. I remembered that today I would need to see if I could use the washer and dryer at my moms. The current renters were busy so I texted to let them know.

Rewind to a week ago when the repairs were being done. They didn’t have the parts and would come back at a later date. Today was the day I would unplug the washer and try again holding the button, “Please start.”

The annoying buzz and hum of the machine but no water or lights flickering. I cursed secretly wishing this was fixed. With a couple person household. I dreaded telling them. It hadn’t been working and my mother was away.

I loaded the washer poured in detergent. I prayed and tried again, ” no…you must be joking.” It buzzed. I sighed taking my clothes and putting it back in the bag. Laundromat for the win then. I checked the time, “I should be okay.”

There were options for a laundromat one that closed at 7 and one at 9. I struggled to carry my laundry upstairs whimpering. I was more than annoyed. Livid. But I smiled. Knowing the cafe  was near by. I could grab a bite to eat and get laundry done. My sticky clothes with detergent on them nagged me.

Luckily the parking meter had been open. I parked and scoped out the laundromat before I made any commitments. Reading the signs carefully.The app. Easy enough. I had tried a load the regular washer and silently cursed, ” i..its won’t fit. You must be joking…” no the universe was not joking. I switched machines. The larger deluxe machine, “35 mins for 10.50?” At this point it was a battle of mental anguish. I paid.

In the washer it went. As I went to the little restaurant. The streets were bare. Rain splashing from the cars zooming by. I was hungry. This was the 5th or 6th time I went out to eat this week. The little cafe had yummy crepes. Some iced tea and a mushroom crepe. The cafe was busy. I had gotten to try new foods and revisiting favorite ones. I would usually cook at home. But I was in the middle of the transition phase. I would be moving out soon. 

Deciding where to sit was akward. But I ended up picking a quiet corner. I checked my phone to see the timer for the wash. At my first apartment we used the app too. I tapped my phone eagerly awaiting the load of laundry to finish. 4 minutes to go on washer X.

I stood up to ask if they could hold my food until I switched the load. They nodded as I hurriedly ran down the street to switch my load. My legs were a bit stiff as I trotted down the main street. Opening the laundromat door carefully walking in. Wipping my feet I piked my laundry into the bag. I had been so disoriented by the layout my mind pulled a blank. When I saw the laundry carts. Of course. I continues to use the basket I had. Mhm done. It beeped and I sighed making sure it was set. The rain drizzled on me as I put my basket back in the car. Trotting back to the little cafe.

As requested they brought out my food. Settling down for a warm crepe. I usually wouldn’t get take out but I was thankful I could. The aromatic spices and the yummy crepe melted in my mouth. A good dinner. Washing it down with a minty black tea. A baby mint leaf decorated the glass with a little lemon wedge. Sweetened just as ordered.

My phone buzzed, “when is mom coming home?” I sighed. Not that I didn’t want to answer but the one moment I had peace to myself. The next questions. I browsed my calendar to double check. I confirmed the dates and put my phone down. I had 19 minutes to eat up. Before my laundry was done.

I ate quietly until I was requested to pickup a crepe. I had smiled. Not a happy smile but an okay tired smile. 2 weeks till vacation. 2 weeks of peace and quiet away from responding to others.

I had mentally formed a walmart checklist. As I scrolled through my mental map. I had a habit of saying things out loud to remember, ” mop cleaner, spray cleaner, suitcase, order online, moms gardening supplies, gas for the car..” I hesitated trying to remember, “don’t forget the paper plates and storage bin.” I sighed mentally checking off the list.

I would become the future  prepared parent. There had been times when family members had needed items that I had. A kleenex a wipe how about hand sanitizer. I was a walking pharmacy. The irony.

My mother thought it was unnecessary for the trivial things. Inquisitive about my paternal nature. She had then said how helpful compostable doggie bags were in the car. I couldn’t win.

“I don’t understand you.” My longterm plan over rode her short-term planning. I had planned and questioned, ” this is what worries me. Can we please talk about it and come up with a solution.” Her trust and faith in things had made me doubt.

“Maybe you should stop trying to control things you can’t.” I sighed in therapy internally. If only they knew that I would set the barriers to find a probable answer, ” why do you need a second opinion on this?” I hesitated and calculated, “I would like another perspective / answer to understand the situation.” I had sat defining my parameters.

Mentally I had shut my brain off. I carried my laundry up the stairs placing it on my temporary couch.  I had turned the faucet to the bath to steamy hot. Placing my clothes on the couch I began to fold in the dim light with the tv softly glowing. Making sure the bath wouldn’t overflow. I grabbed a chilled water bottle and put it next to the tub.

The soak recharged me relaxing every limb. Floating away like a cloud. I needed a bath. Mentally. I would tell the universe that I was grateful and update it about my travels. I would sink into that hot abyss. And come out to face a new day. Tomorrow.